Charitable Debt Collectors

Open letter to the Firefighters Charitable Foundation:

Do not, call me at home during the dinner hour.

Do not call me on weekends.

Do not arrange it so that you appear on caller i.d. as "UNAVAILABLE".

Do not let the phone ring only four times, then hang up just as I reach the phone panting from my jog across my one-acre front yard.

On day 5, or so, when I finally answer the phone in time, do not simply have an uneducated male voice say, "Is Jennifer there?"

When I say she's not available, do not blurt "I'll-call-back-later" and hang-up on me.

In fact, NEVER hang-up on me.

When you call, identify yourself politely.

When I say, because of all the preceding affronts, to put me on your Do Not Call List, do not insult me further by telling me that charitable organizations are not covered by the federal Do Not Call registry. I know that. I'm the lawyer. You're the firefighter. I'm referring to the Do Not Call List that you need to have at your right hand (or better, left) on a sheet of notebook paper. The list of all the people you've ticked off by the aforementioned practices. If it's any easier, just take me off your Do Call List.

When I insist you never call again because I have a policy of never donating to charities who call me on the phone (meaning, in the way you do), do not point out that I've donated before - because I may have just established the policy two seconds ago - in response to your behavior.

And then, DO NOT HANG UP ON ME. When you call me, I get to decide when the call is over!

Finally, I'd like a refund of my previous donation. Have a nice day.